There are always rumors of what a city will be like and how their people will treat you. I have heard countless times that France is rude and Spain is welcoming. I am not sure if it is the weather, my clothes, being female, being young or any long list of things but I have had a very surprising experience of aggression.
My first interactions in Madrid were stares. It was a look from bottom to top, very blatant and felt judgmental. I came to notice this look was universal to both foreigners and natives. Fashion here is impeccable, even the children leading me to believe that might be part of "the look." After a Seattle standard of Northface jackets and barefoot shoes it is clear our standards are much lower. Today my off white and black polka dot trench coat did not exactly go with the blue and yellow dress I had underneath. Everyone noticed on my way to school as if I had left the house in only bloomers.
This stare carries over to the necessity of holding your ground when crossing the street. I still do not know if cars or people have the right of way. The past week I have had mixed experiences until today I realized you have to be bold. I followed suit of a few Spaniards, crossing when it was our turn but being firm about not letting a right turning car go. The cars will speed down the road past crosswalks making it impossible to cross for a few minutes. The answer is to walk out and not let the cars intimidate you. Of course I never thought to try this as holding your ground infront of a speeding car is terrifying. The cars will go fast as they can and as close to you as possible. If you hurry up scared, they are even more aggressive. You need to hold your place and make eye contact. I am not sure if this is something I can ever get used to.
When in stores and walking on the sidewalk the people act the same way. There is no order to where they go, no etiquette of letting someone go first or thinking ahead to make the path easiest for both people. You can be run off the sidewalk by a party walking four across and not budging. You have to weave in and out at the grocery store as people scatter about like a dropped bag of marbles. There is a reoccurring theme of boldly holding your space in this world as well as strong emotional stature.
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Ha! Another myth crushed. This could turn out to be the Spanish Myth Busters. And I would have worried about being rude and clueless. Bravado does have a Spanish sound to it, no?
ReplyDeleteReminds of a funny story Big Bob told me. He says when he walks in NYC he has to adopt a different posture. When someone is approaching him from the other direction and is not giving him his space, he'll brace himself and maybe even give the shoulder contact a little extra nudge, and then not turn around and keep walking. I tried that at work when a group of four walking down the hallway from the caf decided the full-length hallway blockade was acceptable group behavior. Did the bump and run. I know they thought I was crazy. That's ok. I'm sure there was more soup left.
Apparently people cut in lines too. You say "perdon" after. Hm.
ReplyDeleteYeah. When everybody else is on the same page, and you're really not into it, you are faced with an interesting ethical dilema. I think they call that being on the antlers of a dilema.
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